Thoughts for Thursday

Today...Today has been an interesting day. Most of the day I found myself depressed and so super irritated. I couldn't figure out why and kept going through a mental check list as to what the problem would be. I know that I get REALLY grouchy when I don't eat, so I made sure to eat as much as I could (which just isn't that much these days for some reason). Lincoln took a nap and that gave me some time to think and relax.

As I was getting ready for a baby shoot today, it hit me... Today is my dear friend Shannon's one year mark of her death. It all made sense after I realized what day it was. It's weird how something can affect you with out you even realizing it. Every time I scroll through my phone to find a number and come across her name, I stop and just stare at her name. I can not bring myself to delete her name out of my phone. When I drive past one of her old homes by UVU, I often find my eyes starting to burn from the tears (as they are now). Loosing someone you love so much is HARD. You never EVER get over it, you just learn to cope. I am STILL trying to find the courage to go visit her grave. I have never been, nor do I want to go but know that I NEED to. One day this spring is my goal... We'll see how that goes though.

Lincoln...My boy is WALKING!!! He has been for 2 weeks. He's pretty good and very proud of himself. He just walks around the house like it's no body's business. It's the cutest thing ever. I can't believe in just ONE SHORT WEEK, he will be ONE. That seriously was just a blink of an eye! I am quite depressed about that too. He is growing too fast. I took pics of our new nephew and Lincoln looks like monster baby next to Parker! Crazy... I miss my little newborn Lincoln!

Chef's Table with Tyler and Robynn...Last night, we went with our friends to the Chef's Table. It is a REALLY nice restaurant that has like a 10 course meal. Seriously, by the time your main dish comes, you're so STUFFED! Really, it is the NICEST place I've EVER been too! I have been so excited to go out somewhere NICE. Well... we thought if we went while Lincoln was taking his afternoon nap, we'd be just fine. He has been a lot better at his naps lately but not yesterday. NOPE! He woke up as soon as we got out of the car. We both just looked at each other and shook our heads. We KNEW where this was heading. But it IS our fault-we shouldn't have brought him. Our friends brought their baby and their baby was acting up too, so we didn't feel as stupid.

Lesson learned though. Lincoln wanted to walk around and kept pointing to the other room and whining. We had to eat in shifts. He REALLY wanted that knife next to my plate and wasn't quiet about letting me know. Trying to eat with a baby in your lap is almost impossible. There were crumbs EVERYWHERE! We tried to feed him some of our food too. A few bites here and there is all that happened. I'm sure the waiter was more then annoyed with us. We joked about that and how even more annoyed he was going to be when both couples pulled out their GIFT CARDS!! HA HA HA!!! At one point during the meal, Jory was talking and all of a sudden we hear this splashing noise. Jory had his wine glass of water in his hand while he was talking and Lincoln put his whole hand in the glass and started just splashing a way! Jory just said, "Whatever, he's happy-I don't care!" Two seconds later, he was BAWLING (and quite loudly too) because the water was in fact ICE water. His poor little hand was freezing!! LOL!!!!

By the time we left, the beautiful white table clothe had massive stains everywhere on it and the floor was TRASHED with crumbs and food that had flown everywhere. How white trash! They probably thought we belonged in McDonald's-not this place. I was quite embarrassed, but what can ya do? Oh yeah... GET A BABY SITTER NEXT TIME.