Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day!

       I truly wish I could say today was an amazing day, but it wasn't. I shot two weddings this weekend and am pretty sure 10 hours on my feet per wedding was over kill for me. I woke up sick today. I don't know if it was from too much this weekend, eating something bad at one of these weddings or if I just have some sort of stomach bug. Perhaps it is a combo... Either way, I was so sad! I have been looking forward to today for awhile because I am so excited to be able to be a Mother and celebrate this amazing day. I was looking forward to no work and spending the day with my little family. We were also going to go up to my Mom's house for a potluck dinner. But since I didn't know what was going on with me, I figured I better stay the heck away. Truly, I was so sad to miss seeing my Bennett family. I even tried to go to church and made it a whole 30 mins.

        I woke up and headed straight to the bathroom. Jory and Lincoln were pretty excited to give me a few items (a gift card and a strawberry plant) and I tried so hard to fake being ok and so happy. I went back to sleep for a while and then got ready for church. Lincoln and I sat together in Sacrament. He was pretty upset that we weren't going to nursery right away. The closing song was "Love at Home." When ever I sing, my baby in my belly MOVES. That could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Perhaps I just don't sing well. Lincoln was on my lap and turned his little head and was watching me sing, then I looked down at his beautiful face and was so full of love and joy. He then turned his head away from me and started to sing as loud as he could. Not that he knew the words or anything, but he just wanted to sing. It was so stinkin cute. Dang I LOVE this boy! I went home and laid down to try and feel better because I REALLY wanted to go to my parents house to see them and some of my siblings, but then reality hit and I had to call my mom (almost in tears) and tell her I was just too sick. Jory and Lincoln came home soon after and I went back to bed for several hours. It is such a bummer being sick.

        About a year ago, one of my good friends Brooke Bakken took some STUNNING images of Lincoln and I. Please don't be offended that Jory isn't in these images. Mother/child photos are a big thing right now and I wanted some of me and my miracle boy. This boy has TRULY changed my life on so many levels. I had come to the conclusion that I may not ever be a mother in this life time. It was a hard reality for me to come to peace with. It took us 5 years to get this sweet boy. When he finally did come, he was sick and I was told if we had waited two more days to be induced, I wouldn't have had him at all. We are so blessed. Lincoln is a loving boy. He was super easy to fall in love with. Lincoln has also always been a momma's boy. Sometimes it's frustrating for me as I am SUPER independent, but other times, I know Heavenly Father knew I needed this cute boy. When I asked Brooke to do these photos, I knew that I wanted to capture this aspect of our relationship. I think she pretty much nailed it. I am beyond in love with these photos. They are so priceless to me and I am so grateful for her that she was able to capture what she did (Lincoln was a pill that day and did NOT make her job easy AT ALL!)

     Words can not express my feelings of gratitude that Heavenly Father has blessed me with the gift of motherhood. This is something I have wanted since I was a little girl. It took me a long time to get here, but it has been more then worth the wait. I can't even remember my life before this little boy came into my life. I believe he and I were meant for each other. I still can remember so clearly the first night he spent in my room in the hospital. It was a LONG hard night, but so many intimate memories and realization that we belonged to each other. I remember holding this sweet boy in my arms and singing to him. He just stared at me and would not break his eye contact with me. This sweet boy KNEW ME and KNEW I was HIS MOM. He KNEW he belonged to me. It was an amazing moment in my life and I know I will never forget it.

       Lincoln has changed me forever and I LOVE this boy. I truly love being a mother and am grateful Heavenly Father has blessed me with such and amazing gift.

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