Life...

Life has been a little overwhelming lately. Well, make that this whole pregnancy actually. We seriously thought we were having a girl with how sick I was and how much worse this pregnancy has been. Mother's Day I was really sick and thought I had the stomach flu, but Lincoln never caught it so I knew it wasn't that. Turns out, I haven't felt well at all since then. I have so much to do and want to do before this baby comes. Our house is a complete disaster as we are remodeling, re arranging and getting a new roof. We are both so overwhelmed living in the state of chaos over here. I want to scrub my house clean and have it smell of Pine Sol! I seriously am obsessed with the smell of it. I just want to sit and sniff it! Yesterday I gave my bathroom a good scrub down and my back was in horrid PAIN just after mopping the small floor. It truly made me depressed. Our whole house is tile or hardwood....

 I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes not too long ago. It has been HARD! I like to call it the starvation diet. Seriously. 30 grams of carbs for breakfast?? Really?? Super mean for a prego woman! I have had to see a perinatologist, a dietician, weekly dr visits, weekly non stress tests and ultra sounds. Todays ultra sound showed that the baby is measuring in a 7.3 lbs and I still have 3 weeks to go. I am scared I will give birth to a walking toddler with a full set of teeth. As of right now, my c section is scheduled for the 22nd of July. I told my Dr I can't wait that long and as he will be out of town the week before the c section, we will discuss the possibility of having another Dr do it when I see him again next week. Things that are up in the air stress me out. BAD. I truly do love my Dr and would rather him be there through it all, but I feel like I need to do what's best for me and my baby's health. I have been so sad (and super MAD) since I found out he was leaving town when I needed him to be around. Although I am scared to death to have two kids, I need to not be pregnant anymore. Or ever again. I can't believe HOW HARD it has been on my body and health. It has been very depressing to constantly feel this way. My mom was down visiting one weekend and we were talking about how hard pregnancy is on a woman's body. She had 7 kids! She started out young and had her last at 33. She was telling Jory that the is such a HIGE difference having them young vs my age and that it truly is so much harder. I keep telling Jory he may need to open his heart up to adoption cuz I am more sure then not that I just can't do this one more time. Ultimately I would LOVE to travel to Africa (I always have actually) and adopt a beautiful black baby girl.

 Lincoln has been missing school and riding the bus. Everyday for a week straight, he would bring his toy school bus into my room, point to it and say "Bus" He LOVES riding the bus and it makes me sad that he misses school. I can tell he is lonely and wants to play with friends so badly! Luckily school starts back up next month. Lincoln has improved on his speech quite a bit and we both see that he tries sooo hard to talk and say different words. Lincoln's current obsession is Thomas the Train and we are beside ourselves on this one. It has been unbearable at times when all he wants to watch is that stupid movie OVER AND OVER again. EVERY time we are at the store, he wants a new train. We have to go shopping in shifts now while the other stays at home watching him. Seriously, it's out of control going to Target with him. Poor boy, thinks he has no choo-choos! HA HA AH HA!!! He is our little love though and he knows it! We are excited for him to meet his little brother, but a little worried how he will react. But I am not giving this baby back, so we'll work through it! ;)

 We were able to have a 3D ultra sound done of our baby a few weeks ago (while he still was a baby!) and I loved being able to see his little face so clearly. I was in AWE and fell head over heels for him. Since then, my arms have been aching to hold him. I am smitten with his chubby cheeks! The actual ultra sound looked a lot better then the image they gave me and then I took a picture of it with my phone, so it doesn't look that great, but he's still pretty cute.