Projects

So since the baby has been born, I've shot a wedding and a senior shoot. The week before, I shot my cousin's wedding. I haven't been shooting all that much since I've been prego and man I miss it! Here are a few shoots I've been working on. Right now I take care of my son and edit shoots. I have so much I want to do and once we establish a better schedule and routine, I'll get back into everything else.

My cousin and her husband...



The ADORABLE Natalie and Remo! I shot this 4 days after getting out of the hospital (yes I am proud of myself).



Here's one of my Laurels in my ward. Senior Year Baby!! Love this girl-she is amazing and will for sure go far in life!

Cherished Memories

Yesterday was a typical spring day-it was chilly and raining. I worked on editing my cousin's wedding for a while then decided it was mommy/baby time. Lincoln and I went and laid in my bed and snuggled under the warm blankets. Life was cozy, safe and happy. It was the highlight of my day. I stared at him still in awe that he is REALLY here and he is mine. I felt overwhelmed by the love I felt for him. As I stared at him for what seemed like hours, memories of the hospital flooded back into my mind. Sometimes when these memories come, I have severe anxiety attacks. Today however, they were a little different.

The first night they let us actually have our baby in my room, I nursed him and held him in my arms for a while. I remember just staring at him falling head over heels in love with my new baby. This was an amazing feeling! The first time I met Lincoln I was so scared to attach myself to him because of all the wires, machines and him being sick. It was so scary for me. But, in the middle of this night, everything was so different. Lincoln just STARED back at me for so long. It was like he knew me and knew WHO I was. I remember talking to him and telling him HOW much I loved him. It was the most tender moment ever.



I started to sing to him, "You are My Sunshine."

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

When I got to this verse, I started to bawl...

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.

I remember thinking that I couldn't live my life with out this little person. I was too attached now. My thoughts turned to my friend Laura. Laura lost her son Lincoln two and a half years ago. I cried for her singing this song and knowing it will be a while before she holds her Lincoln again. All of a sudden life didn't seem fair. I cried again for her loss and thinking what life would be like if I lost my little Lincs. I couldn't bare it. I felt so much gratitude that my boy was healthy and strong. I remember while holding my boy I thought, "Heavenly Father, if I have to die, PLEASE let little Lincs come with me-I need him so much. If he has to die, then you'll need to take me too because I don't think I can bare being with out him."

Licoln, I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always, as long as you live, my baby you'll be!



PS-HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMILLA!! Love, your cute little nephew and best big sister =)

Lincoln, by Cort Boice

Last night we went to our friend Cort and Ashley's house to have Cort take some pics of us and our baby. Cort has a unique style and is amazing at photography. After much nagging from Jory so his family can see how they turned out, I'm FINALLY posting some pics. Enjoy!!

Exhausted!

Wow... being a new mom is exhausting! My mother in law has been staying with us the past two weeks and just left yesterday. She has been an AMAZING help! My house has NEVER been so clean and she held Lincs anytime I need a break or my back was so sore. She loves him SO much though. I felt so bad when she left to see her cry the way she did. She lives 3.5 hours away so we don't see them all that much!

Today has been the first day with out her and the little stinker just wants to be held ALL the time! Since I'm not fully recovered from my C-Section and really don't feel all that great so I try and sleep when he does. When he's awake, he just wants to be held and snuggled-which of course means nothing else is going to get done for a while. Grocery shopping, laundry and house work...??? Yeah, that should be interesting!


Tonight we are going to have our good Friend Cort take some pics of us. I know I'm fully capable to do this, but so is he and sometimes, it's nice just to have someone else do it you know? Cort is amazing with his photography though so I am SOOO excited to see what he does. In the mean time, here are some more pics of our little stinker!







He really is a darling baby. Lincs is so strong and has a loud, healthy set of lungs. When he's hungry, he wants to eat NOW! LOL...I can't believe he's already 2 weeks old. I look at the pics from the hospital and look at him now-I just can't believe HOW fast they change and grow! Breaks my heart! Although... the thought of more sleep through out the night sounds divine to me right now! ;)

Presenting....

The very first...

Bennett Cousin Photos!!







Kobs and Bugs FINALLY have a cousin! Bugs refers to Lincs as "My Cousin." So cute... They came over to see us the other day and I, of course, had to snap some shots of them with their new cousin. Kobs couldn't believe how tiny Lincs is. Look how cute they all look!! They look so proud to finally have a cousin too!

Lincoln's Story

Lincoln Base Ward
Born: April 7, 2010
Weight: 7lbs 14 oz
Length: 20 inches
Proud Parents: US!!!


I've wanted to make this post for quite some time but because of the emotions and anxiety of the events, I keep putting it off. While the memories are still fresh-but hard-I want to write the story of our little Lincoln's arrival. This post is VERY VERY long, but very important for our family to document the details.

Monday, April. 5
Dr.Baxter told us I was still only dilated at a 2cm (seriously? It's been a month at a 2!) and that he would induce me on Sunday April.11 because the hospital rules required that you wait one week being a new time mom. It was my last prego appointment! In some aspects I was sooo excited, but at the same time, I loved my appointments, my dr and his nurses! While I didn't want to get my hopes up about going sooner, I had this feeling that something was going to happen sooner then the 11th. So we went home a little bummed and waited and waited.

Tuesday, April.6
Jory was working on tying some flies while I was on the phone with our sister in law Dayle talking about real signs of labour. I knew something small was happening but wasn't sure if it was a real or false sign. Again, trying not to get my hopes up. After we got off the phone, I went to the bathroom and had decided that since I hadn't eaten in like 4 hours, I'd make some perogies. Well, I finished my business and noticed something was trickling down my legs... That's weird I had thought. So I went into the bedroom to get something and more trickling. Ok... I don't pee my pants very often (or at all) so I knew something wasn't right! I called my mom and asked her about it and she said to call the hospital because it might be my water starting to break. I called the hospital and they said the only way to know for sure is to come in and do a test and that it was better safe then sorry because of possible infection that could start. So I told Jory what was going on and that we needed to get ready to go. I went and got the suitcase ready and was heading out the door when I noticed that Jory was STILL tying his fly. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? I said, "Jory!! I might be in labour and we need to go NOW and you're STILL tying a fly???" His response... "Babes, I just gotta finish this last one, I'm almost done." I couldn't believe it (then again, I could). I walked out the door, threw my suitcase in the back seat and waiting for him to finish. I was irritated and I was about ready to start slamming on the horn when he finally came out.

We got to the hospital and the nurse took the test to see if it was in fact my water. The first test came back negative and we decided to take another one just to make sure. I KNEW that test was wrong. The second test was taken to the lab and we waited for what seemed like forever. When she came back, she said the test had come back POSITIVE. I was officially in labour. We were then taken to a labour and delivery room to start the induction. Shortly later is when I felt my water gushing... I wasn't allowed to eat anything besides apple juice and ice chips. Bummer... I was STARVING! They told us to try and sleep since the actual event should only be hours away. Oh yeah... you're in labour with your FIRST baby that you've waited SO long for and they tell you to sleep?? Sorry, that wasn't happening for me AT ALL!! I literally did NOT sleep at all the night.

Wednesday, April 7
After hours and hours of no progression I was still dilated to a 2. They said that Dr.Baxter doesn't like going past a certain amount of time before considering a C-Section since there's a higher risk for infection. I really just thought I needed more time to progress and I'd be fine. Yeah... that's just not how things happened. Around noon, Dr. Baxter came in and checked me, I was HARDLY at a 3cm!! I was DEVASTATED!! He then kicked everyone out and talked to us about doing a C-Section. He felt that would be the best option for me and the baby. He said that the baby was trying to come down but because my pelvis was too small, and his head was too big, his head was starting to swell. Of course this caused a lot of alarm for us. We were told that we would have one hour to talk things over and decide what we wanted to do. Our only other option was to wait even longer and see if I would progress. Even if we tried that option, he said that more then likely I'd rip and tear and would still end up in a C-Section. He let all our family and friends that were there know that we needed an hour just the two of us to talk and make our choice.

Jory asked how I felt and I told him that either way, I was beyond scared and just didn't know. Jory said that if it was our best option for me and the baby, then that's probably what we should do. So it really didn't take us that long to make up our minds. We let them know and they started the prep work. I was given a stronger epidural and apparently some other drugs. I was so scared and worked up that I was sick to my stomach. I was doing everything I could to keep calm and keep down those ice chips and juice.

When I was rolled into the delivery room, I REALLY started to freak out inside. Mentally and emotionally I wasn't prepared for what was about to come. I was given a Priesthood blessing by a good friend that told us that there was a plan and a purpose for the delivery we were about to have and that the baby and I would be safe. There were some other interesting things said that made me wonder why it would say the things it did. But then again, we were expecting a normal, HEALTHY, vaginal delivery. Little did we know...

I was still trying so hard to not throw up. Jory joined me and Dr.Baxter asked if my family could watch from the gallery. I told him as long as they didn't see my girly parts, I didn't care (Apparently some drugs were starting to kick in by then). I couldn't feel any pain while he sliced my skin open, but I could feel him slicing. Then came the PRESSURE of him ripping and pulling me in every which way I could be. Jory stood up and started to watch. I heard some one say, "We've got a brave one." I felt as he took my baby out of my stomach-that was surreal. It wasn't as surreal as when I heard my baby boy crying. I REALLY had a baby in there. One of the Dr's asked me if we had a name picked out. I looked up at him all drugged and groggy and told him, "He wants to name him Trout!"

Jory joined one of the Dr's as they cleaned out Linc's lungs and whatever else they did while Baxter stitched me up. I was STILL trying to hold it all together by singing primary songs in my head till I passed out. While I was in and out of concsiousness, I heard one of the nurses say, "Dr.Baxter, what are those black things in her?" Ummm... hello??? If I wasn't calm then, things didn't get any better from there. Then a while later I heard Dr.Baxter say the word, Endometriosis. What the crap was going on over there and inside me?! Sadly, the story gets worse from here (in some ways).

I was finally finished and rolled back to my room where my parents and mother in law were waiting. Two of my sisters were there and so were Bugs and Kobs. I remember feeling SOOO happy to see them, but seeing fear in my little Bugs eyes. She did NOT like the way I looked. Kobs kept asking what was wrong with me and why were my eyes doing what they were. I was shaking uncontrollably and my eyes were rolling and fluttering away. I heard my mom asking about my face being so swollen. It had been swollen for so long already, did it really look WORSE?? Oh, but it did!! The pictures to prove it will NOT be shown at all! lol...

I was seriously REALLY drugged and kept going in and out of concsiousness the rest of the day. I didn't see Jory much, but my dear friend Tammy stayed by my side most of the evening. I remember at one point looking at my mother in law's face and she looked really upset. I guess I wondered out loud, "Well, what's the matter with her?" Then I heard someone say, "Sherry, your baby is REALLY sick!" WHAT?!?!?! I hadn't even gotten to SEE or HOLD my baby! When I later asked the nurse if I could see my baby she said no because I was so sick and running a fever. I had no idea I was sick. She also told us that he might have to be transferred to another hospital to get the help he needed. Come to find out, our little Lincs had Pneumonia. How DEVASTATING!!! I was so sad that they were thinking of transferring him and I wouldn't even get to see or hold him.

Thursday April 8, 2010
Somehow, I managed to pass out for the rest of the evening and actually SLEEP. The next morning I found out that Lincoln didn't get transferred and that in a while they would wheel me in and I could FINALLY hold my little baby boy. I couldn't wait to see what he looked like. Jory of course had taken some pics of him and it was heart wrenching to see what he looked like on Jory's camera. You never think that your baby will be born sick and be hooked up to all the machines and wires he was.

Getting up out of bed into the wheel chair was so VERY painful that I wanted to yet again die! But I HAD to see my baby. I was aching for him. I wasn't ready for how he looked when I saw him. Although he looked so much better, it hurt to see my little one like that. He acted just fine though. He was such a sweet little boy. As I held him, I thought, if he dies, I have to die with him. If I die, I want him to come with me so I NEVER have to be with out him. Here is what he looked like the very first time I saw him.







He is SOOOO BEAUTIFUL still to me-wires and all! It was hard though to see the IV in his head and little hand. The nurse showed me how to nurse my baby and although I was scared the mother instinct kicked in and all fears left me as I knew this was the best thing for my baby. The nurse said this would help my baby heal faster and like I said, all fears left so fast. I loved the bonding feeling I felt nursing him. They said that babies loved the Kangaroo Care-skin on skin snuggling. I wanted to do anything and everything I could for my baby to help him heal in anyway I could. I looked forward to nursing and cuddling my little one any chance I could!

Later that day, Dr.Baxter came in and we talked about everything for a while. He said that when he opened me up, he found serious infection in my uterus. Whatever I had was passed on to Lincoln. He said there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. He also said he had heard I was sick before I came in-which was true-I just thought it was a head cold. I then asked about the things I had heard when I drifted in and out during the surgery. He told me that he had found some cysts on my ovaries and Endometriosis. In a way, I was sad, but realized that the C-Section was in fact a blessing in disguise. Had the C-Section not been done, we may not have ever know that was going on. He was able to clean out a lot of it-which is also a blessing to have so many things taken care of all at once. Dr Baxter also said it's good I went into labour when I did being as sick as I was. Had we wanting till the induction, we may not even have our sweet little boy.

During the rest of the hospital stay, Lincoln became better and stronger everyday. I, however, didn't get better as fast as he did. I kept getting sick and striking fevers. At one point, I went up to a 104!! Not a fun night. I remember having a nervous break down and bawled in front of my mother, sister, bishop and Dr.Baxter. I was so tired of being in the hospital and not getting better. I just wanted to go home with my baby and enjoy every moment I could as a new mother. I was given another blessing by my bishop that said my body would heal and make a full recovery. It was all I needed to hear to make me feel better.

Dr. Baxter said that once I was fever free for 24 hrs, he'd let me go home. I think after that, I had spiked one more fever and Monday morning Dr.Baxter FINALLY released me out of the hospital. When Jory and I pulled into our driveway, I had to hold back the tears. I had seen my house in almost a week. I wanted and needed to be home sooo bad! The day had finally come. When I walked into my beautiful home, the smell of Pine Sol and Fresh Flowers filled my nose. What a happy day!

Things continue to go well for Lincs and I. We are getting better every day and I am soooooooo in love with my boy. He is so stinkin cute! He are some more pics I've taken of him. As always, there will be more to come.

Jory is VERY proud of his little boy!



I am so dang happy to be the mum of this perfect little boy!





The Gorgeous Velcro couple that came to visit their new nephew!

He Lives

and while he lives I'll sing. For I KNOW that my Redeemer lives!



This year I felt an urgency to listen to conference like I never have in the past. Man, I am so grateful that I did! It was like every talk I listened to was for me. There seemed to be a lot of talk on the importance of Motherhood and teaching your children the Gospel. It was a quiet (no, make that LOUD) reminder of the type of Mother I KNOW I am suppose to be. We grow up learning the teachings of the Gospel and know the things we are suppose to do and be. Sometimes though, we loose sight of where it is we need to be or the things we need to be doing in life. Even though we've been taught these things before, we need that reminder as to WHY they are so important. Sometimes we see things in a different way as they apply to our lives.

Being a mother is such an amazing privilege. It is one I am excited for and scared for all at the same time. I know that teaching my children the Gospel is an important role in my life-one that will bring me great joy. I've always known this, but hearing these exact words from yesterdays talks woke me up. How am I living my life? Will my children want to live the Gospel because they see HOW important it is to me and the joy it DOES bring to my life? Will they see that this is WHO I am? Will they look to me as a good example and follow in my footsteps because of how I choose to live my live? They talked about how the stripling warriors doubted not because they knew their mothers knew it. Will my son doubt not because he knew his mother knew it?

Another talk that couldn't have been more perfect for me was the talk on Death. Talk about the right timing in my life! When someone we love dies, we question so much! Esp when it's someone who has a young family and is in thier prime of life. I was reminded (yet again, just like EVERY TIME I've been through this trial) that the Saviour will NEVER leave us comfortless. Loss of loved ones is something we ALL must face in life. It doesn't seem fair in anyway, but it IS a part of life. I know that Shannon IS in a better place. I know that she is finally free of her sick body. For this, I have to be grateful because I do love her. I still sit and feel sorry for myself because she is one of my best friends, I love her dearly and miss her so much. My brother told me that she would want me to be strong for my baby and to be happy for this long awaited miricle. These words brought me more comfort then he can realize because he is right. That's what she would have said to me if she were here.

The words and teachings of the Gospel bring so much comfort in my heart and happiness in my life. I'm sooo grateful that I listened to the urgency of watching conference for it has brought so much peace about Shannon's death and the type of mother Heavenly Father needs me to be for this little baby.

My bags are packed...

I'm ready to go-but baby apparently isn't! We are two days overdue and still showing no progression of him coming. You'd think we were anxious or something! lol... If he's not here by April.11 they will admit me to the hospital to be induced. It's only a week away but we're hoping something happens before then.



The day I found out about my Shannon, I received a package on my door step from Lincoln's Aunt Melissa. It seriously brightened my day. You know when you just have a crappy day and something so sweet and thoughtful happens-you just feel like there is light at the end of a very long dark tunnel! Thank you Aunt Gubs for the darling package of clothes for Lincs!! Sooooo stinkin cute!